Middle-aged droning took place, and Dan and I were busy bustling in the kitchen preparing our part of the deal. I’d already taken the liberty of taking a bit to drink beforehand, so I was feeling somewhat flexible when conversation arose.“Jasmine, pass me the bottle opener please...”“OK”OK, maybe not THAT flexible...“Shame Jake couldn’t make it I guess...”Pop went a bottle. Dan grunted in response.“Ah well, still got big sis to keep you company!”No reply. Charming...“You know, with you and Jake...”“Yeah...”“Have you ever...? Oh never mind it’s a stupid question”“What?”“Forget it, I’m just being nosy”“Just say it Jazz...”“Well I was just wondering whether you’d ever wondered what it’s like swinging the other way...” Come on, we’d have been here forever if I hadn’t been direct!“Er...” His lack of denial was reassuring. “But never mind, it’s none of my business”No reply again. Well that worked...Now our kitchen isn’t exactly roomy. So it didn’t take long for an awkward moment to arise.. It used to be worse - before I started taking hormones, I could hardlystand to look at myself even dressed, but with my breasts coming in alittle, now if I wear the right kind of clothes I guess there are worselooking women out there.But naked, all I see is the ugly bits, so I just dont go there.I know I shouldnt complain - I've seen some people who have it a lotrougher than me in the looks department - burn victims, people withhorrible diseases, people with terrible birth defects.Me, I just look like the guy I used to pretend I was.When you're trans, holidays can really suck, you know? Christmas becomesa reminder of the fact your family thinks you're going to hell, or Easterreminds you of all the pretty spring dresses you'd look like a clown in. But one of the worst one is Valentines, at least for me.There wont be any chocolates, or roses waiting for me when I get home, nocute card from anyone saying they were thinking of me.Just another day alone, and that's every bit as much fun as.
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